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Posts tagged ‘family’

Building Great Families: Make the Family Home Base

Sliding into Home BaseA recent article by Christian Counseling Associates contains advice that we all can use.


A core task in creating a great family environment is to establish your home as a place of nurturing and acceptance.  The goal is to make your family a “home base” for all of its members. 


As your children grow up to face the challenges and uncertainties of life, let them have at least one place where they know they are cared for and valued.  As parents, my wife and I work toward creating a household environment that will nurture the development of our children, and help them establish genuine independence as they progress in life. 


However, we hope in the future that their concept of home will allow them to return and experience our family household as a refuge of warmth and love.  We hope that they whatever their course, they will return with their families and always be strengthened by our family experience. 

Psalm 127: 3 – 5tells us, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them…” 


The truth is that our children, and our families are our greatest possession.  When the family is “home base”, each family member is able to experience nurturing and perceive acceptance in the daily life of the family.


The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone.  However, providing an environment of nurturance and acceptance can be challenging in our fast paced society. 


Here are five tools that can help you build this dynamic into your family experience.


1.    Make Your Family a Priority


Commit to purposefully work on the improvement of your family on a daily basis.  When you rise in the morning, pray to God about this goal.  Keep a notebook regarding the problems you face.  Keep a record of new ideas that you will discuss with your spouse.  Read books on creating dynamic family experiences. Reschedule or forgo work activities to spend time with your children.  Change your normal routines so that you can create more time with the kids.


2.   Discover and Highlight the Gifts in Your Family


For each family member, identify the unique skills, abilities, interests and talents that have been created in them.  Help each child discover these gifts and have a passion and excitement about how they can use their skills in new ways. Make it your job to draw out the skills and abilities of your children. Make the home a place where abilities are valued and given opportunity.


3.    Create a Sense of Peace in Your Home


Conflict in the household will always result in the opposite of nurturing and accepting relationships.  Conflict will create insecurity in the children, and make the home a place your children will learn to avoid.  Develop great communication strategies with your spouse.  If extreme disagreements occur, avoid arguing in front of your family. If these displays occur in front of the children, allow them to also see a loving resolution. Eliminate any abusive behavior from your family environment.


4.    Celebrate Accomplishments Together 


Each role that a person plays in the family needs to be identified and valued.  Husband, wife, mother, father, son, daughter, provider, nurturer, student (and the list goes on).  Teach your family about each role that they take on.  Discuss daily the importance of each role and the activities that are associated with them.  Celebrate the accomplishments that are a product of the roles your family members play.  Support each other in carrying out these activities.  Teach the family that a victory for one person, is a victory for the whole family. Celebrate together!


5.     Make God the Center of Your Home Base


Many families have already established tools and techniques with the goal of living a victorious family life.  However, a family without God can never experience the spiritual bond God brings to their relationships.  Any family without God, will eventually crumble and fall from the inside, regardless of how well its plans are constructed.


Don’t make the mistake of leaving God out of the life of your family.  This is the key ingredient to establishing your family as a home base. 


Be a part of a bible-believing church.  Involve your children in the ministries of that church.  Pray and study the bible together at home.  Lead your children in the faith that will give them an opportunity to make a decision for Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. 


John 3:16 tells us, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” 


Let your family experience and know the love that only the Lord can bring.  This is the ultimate in nurturance and acceptance, to know that Jesus loves us, and that heaven is our eternal home base. Make this central in the life of your household.


United Methodists and Communion: Some Questions and Answers

CommunionWhy do United Methodists call this sharing of bread and cup by different names, such as Lord’s Supper, Holy Communion, and Eucharist?

Each of these names is taken from the New Testament and highlights certain facets of this sacrament’s many meanings.

  • Calling it the Lord’s Supper reminds us that it is a meal instituted by the Lord Jesus Christ and hosted by him at his table whenever it takes place.
  • Calling it Holy Communion reminds us that it is an act of the most holy and intimate sharing, making us one with Jesus Christ and part of his body, the church.
  • Calling it the Eucharist, a term taken from the New Testament Greek word meaning thanksgiving, reminds us that giving thanks to God for all that God has done is an essential part of the meal.

By using different names we acknowledge that no single name can contain the rich wealth of meanings in this sacred act. 

What do United Methodists mean when they call this act a sacrament?

Our Confession of Faith states: “We believe the sacraments, ordained by Christ, are symbols and pledges of the Christian’s profession and of God’s love toward us.  They are means of grace by which God works invisibly in us, quickening [bringing to life], strengthening and confirming our faith in him. Two Sacraments are ordained by Christ our Lord, namely Baptism and the Lord’s Supper.”

The term is taken from the Latin sacramentum, which was a Roman soldier’s pledge of allegiance.  A sacrament is God‘s pledge of allegiance [love and faithfulness] to us, and our answering pledge of allegiance to God.

Do United Methodists believe that the bread and wine physically or chemically change into Christ’s flesh and blood in this sacrament?

No, we believe that the change is spiritual.  They signify the body and blood of Christ for us, helping us to be Christ’s body in the world today, redeemed by Christ’s blood.

We pray over the bread and the cup that they may make us one with Christ, “one with each other, and one in service to all the world.”

I am a Christian, but not a United Methodist.  Am I invited to receive Communion in a United Methodist church?

Yes indeed.  It is the Lord’s Supper, not ours, and it is Christ who invites you.As our ritual puts it: “Christ our Lord invites to his table all who love him, who earnestly repent of their sin and seek to live in peace with one another.”

We do not refuse any who present themselves desiring to receive.  Whether you should receive Communion with us is between you and God.

I do not wish to receive Communion because doing so would be disloyal to my religion or my denomination.  May I attend a United Methodist Communion service and not receive Communion?

Yes indeed.  We do not want anyone to feel unwelcome because, for whatever reason, they do not choose to receive Communion. Simply remain seated when others go forward, or pass the bread and cup along if they are passed to you, and no one will question what you do.

Should I receive Communion if I feel unworthy?

Two thousand years ago Jesus ate with sinners and those whom others scorned.  He still does.

None of us is worthy, except by God’s grace.  Thank God we don’t have to earn worth in God’s eyes by our goodness or our faith.  Your sacred worth, and ours, is God’s free gift. 

No matter what you have done or what your present condition, if you want Christ in your life you are welcome at his table.  Communion provides the opportunity for you to confess your sins, to receive forgiveness, and to indicate your intention to lead a new life.

May young children receive Communion?

Certainly.  As The United Methodist Book of Worship puts it, “All who intend to lead a Christian life, together with their children, are invited to receive the bread and cup.” 

We remember that when some of Jesus’ disciples tried to keep children away from him he said: “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs” (Mark 10:14 NRSV).

But do young children know what they are doing when they receive Communion?

Do they understand the full meaning of this holy sacrament?  No, and neither do any of us.  It is a wonderful mystery, and children can sense wonder and mystery.

Children cannot understand the full significance of family meals, but we feed them at our family tables and at Christ’s family table.  Young children experience being loved by being fed.  They sense the difference between being included and excluded at a family meal. 

They have the faith of a child, appropriate to their stage of development, which Jesus recognized and honored . Indeed, he said to adults: “Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it” (Mark 10:15 NRSV).

May I receive Communion without standing or kneeling?

Certainly.  In some United Methodist congregations most persons receive Communion while standing, while in others most receive while kneeling; but you are always welcome to receive while seated.

If others are kneeling at the rail, you may remain standing and you will be served.  You may also come forward and be seated on the front row, or come forward in your wheelchair, and you will be served.  Or you may notify an usher, and someone will come to you and serve you where you are seated.

If someone in my family wishes to receive Communion but cannot come to the church service, can Communion be brought to them?

Certainly.  As an extension of the congregation’s celebration of the Lord’s Supper, Communion is brought to persons, wherever they are, who wish it but could not attend the service.  This can be done by the pastor or other clergy, or by designated laypersons.

Is Communion possible at weddings, at healing services, or at funerals or memorial services?

Yes. If you wish to arrange this, talk with your pastor.

– Excerpt from United Methodists and Communion: Some Questions & Answers by Hoyt L. Hickman.

  • Additional information concerning communion can be found in this video episode of “Chuck Knows Church“.